The separation anxiety afflicting a parent when it’s time to drop their toddler off at day care for the first time is real and heart wrenching. Especially considering that your toddler has left the cuddly infant stage and now has a definite set of opinions. First opinion being he doesn’t want to go to day care, no how, no way.

Your brain tells you that all will be well once he settles in. In a few weeks, the routine will be set and he will look forward to seeing his new friends. Until that day comes, here are four tips to ease your pain a little on that dreaded first day.

Tip #1: Pack the diaper bag the night before the big day.

You are for sure going to spend that first day away from your child pondering whether you remembered their blue bankie, their purple teddy bear or their favorite teething ring. To relieve your stress, pack all the must haves in the bag for your toddler the night before so you don’t have to rush out the door in the morning with that on your mind.

Tip #2: Interview your child’s teacher and the daycare administration before enrolling.

Do not just pick the nearest day care center to your work or home even if it comes highly recommended. You must interview the staff.

Please do not make that mistake. It is always a bad move to put your child in the care of people you don’t know, good recommendations or no. You need to know at a minimum what the teacher’s and administration’s standards are and how they match up to yours.

Tip #3: If your child’s new daycare is an institution, always opt for the one with the consistently fine reputation.

Fast forward a few years. We moved into the city shortly after our youngest was born. The plethora of daycare options was mind boggling. When we started looking around, however, we discovered that only a small handful had a reputation for being consistently excellent. The majority of them were hit or miss.

Tip #4: Spend as much time as you can with your child the night before the first daycare event and the night after.

It is quite probable that your toddler’s first day of daycare coincides with your first day back to work. Both of you will be wiped out at the end of the day. Both of you will have undergone some stressful situations. Recognize this and devote some real quality time to each other. You don’t need to wash a load of clothes or clean the refrigerator. You do need to order a pizza and enjoy each other. The two of you have earned it.

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